The Chic Adventure of the Charmingly Charismatic Mr. Chicky (Zay)

Mr. Chicky didn’t know which was worse, the rain, the clucking of his fellow chickens behind him, or the droning of the cars passing by on the highway. But, honestly, he couldn't care less, as Mr. Chicky was descended from a family of daredevil chickens, but none of his ancestors had ever tried such a daring stunt as this. If he completed this feat, he would be remembered for eternity in the records of all chickens ever. He took some deep breaths, cock-a-doodle-doo’d a few times, and scarfed down a few kernels of dried corn. “It’s showtime,” he thought to himself, but then he realized he had yet to stretch. He fluffed his feathers out and extended his wings as far as they could go, which was fairly far for a chicken. The group of spectating chickens gasped, or whatever a gasp would be for a chicken. Then Mr. Chicky dug his talons into the gravel on the ground and started kicking up bits of gravel into the air. Several hens fainted as he turned his head to the right and winked at them. He turned back and faced the street in front of him, literally. There was a pause in the air that witnesses later described as a pause similar to one that comes before the blast of a nuclear warhead. Then… BAM! Mr. Chicky was off, bobbing and weaving between cars that passed by on the road. He was unstoppable, juking left and right, backpedaling, jumping off of a passing car to hop in between two others. The spectators’ reaction was limited to lots of coos and cahs. It seemed as if he was one with the highway. He was almost across! Then suddenly a semi-truck came barreling in from seemingly nowhere. Mr. Chicky was ready. He leaped off of the ground and grabbed the rear-view mirror of the truck and flung himself up into the air. The chickens that were there that day, who would live to tell the tale, would say that they saw in his eyes the glint that only comes from pure awesomeness. Mr. Chicky crashed back to the ground in a hurricane of scattered gravel. The chickens gathered there did not even know if he was still among the living as they waited with baited breath. Then the dust cleared and there was Mr. Chicky, looking as dapper as ever. They cheered and cheered! Mr. Chicky became a hero among chickens everywhere. Humans, however, did not appreciate his accomplishment--they cruelly turned his achievement into the one of the most cliche ridden jokes of all time: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"