In the event of a giant octopus attack, please remember these important procedures so that the authorities can rescue as many people as possible.
Water will begin to materialize from nowhere. Do not panic. This is normal.
Oxygen tanks will be located in the front of every classroom. In an emergency situation, do not try to share the oxygen in the tanks.
Calmly swim towards the nearest exit. If your nearest exit is blocked by a giant tentacle, please remain calm. Wait patiently for someone to rescue you, and try not to get stuck to the tentacle.
If you cannot swim, you might be left behind or given to the octopus depending on how desperate we are.
If a student near you is slowing you down, throw them at the nearest tentacle. This might distract the octopus long enough for you to escape.
Do not try to bribe the octopus with clams. This will most likely end poorly for you and has not been very successful in the past.
If you encounter the head of the octopus, you are doomed and you have no hope of escaping. The same is true if you are grabbed by a tentacle. If you are somehow able to survive either of these situations, you have defied all the laws of nature and are probably some sort of superhuman.
If you are able to make it out of the school, please run screaming to the nearest person with a phone. None of the people inside the school will have a working phone due to the water, so you are their only hope.
Although this situation may seem unlikely, it’s important that we educate our students on what to do in even the most extreme and unrealistic emergencies. Your safety is our first priority.
